CATEGORY 1 — STRENGTH COMMENTS (10th Grade Persuasive Essay) 1. Your thesis statement takes a clear, specific stance and signals to the reader exactly what the essay will argue. 2. The evidence you pulled from paragraph two is well-chosen — it directly supports your claim rather than just being related to the topic. 3. You acknowledged the opposing viewpoint before dismantling it, which gives your argument more credibility. 4. Your sentence variety in the body paragraphs keeps the writing engaging — you avoid falling into repetitive rhythms. 5. The transition between your second and third body paragraphs is seamless; the reader never loses the thread of your argument. 6. You use specific, precise language to describe the issue rather than relying on vague generalizations. 7. Your word choice is consistently sophisticated and appropriate for an academic audience. 8. The hook in your introduction raises a genuine question that pulls the reader into your argument. CATEGORY 2 — IMPROVEMENT COMMENTS 1. Your thesis identifies your topic but doesn't yet commit to a clear position — try adding a "because" clause to sharpen your claim. 2. Several of your quotes appear without analysis; follow each piece of evidence with a sentence explaining what it proves about your argument. 3. Your counter-argument paragraph introduces the opposing view but drops it before fully refuting it — show why your side outweighs theirs. 4. Some sentences run on past the point where a new idea begins; break these at the comma or restructure into two sentences. 5. The conclusion largely restates your introduction without adding new insight or a broader implication. 6. A few word choices are informal for academic writing — "a lot" and "stuff" can be replaced with more precise alternatives. 7. Your evidence in paragraph four is relevant, but it's from only one source; a second perspective would strengthen your case. 8. The body paragraphs vary in length significantly — the shortest paragraph feels underdeveloped compared to the others. CATEGORY 3 — NEXT STEP COMMENTS 1. Revise your conclusion to answer the question: "So what?" — give readers a reason to care about this argument beyond the page. 2. Try reading your essay aloud to catch places where sentences feel choppy or awkward; your ear will catch what your eye misses. 3. In your next draft, highlight every quote and make sure the sentence immediately after it explains, not just repeats, what the quote shows. 4. Revise your thesis so it makes a claim that could be debated, not just described. 5. Add a transitional phrase at the start of your counter-argument paragraph to signal to readers that you're addressing the other side. 6. Try replacing at least three general nouns with more specific ones to sharpen your argument's precision. 7. In your next draft, aim for each body paragraph to be roughly the same length — this signals equal development of each point. 8. Revise your opening sentence so it immediately signals the stakes of the issue rather than starting with background information.