Comedy Roast

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great honor to roast the one and only Bart Simpson. What can I say about Bart? He's the bad boy of Springfield, the scourge of the school system, and a thorn in the side of his parents. In other words, he's the perfect role model for kids everywhere. But let's talk about what makes Bart truly unique. Is it his insatiable appetite for trouble? His quick wit and sharp tongue? His stunning lack of common sense? No, it's none of those things. What makes Bart truly special is that he's managed to remain a 10-year-old for over 30 years. I mean, who else can say that they've been in the fourth grade for three decades? That's a level of dedication that deserves recognition. And let's not forget about his incredible achievements. He's managed to rack up more detentions than anyone in history, he's crashed more skateboards than Tony Hawk, and he's even managed to become a wanted criminal in multiple countries. I mean, who needs a Nobel Prize when you've got that kind of street cred? But you know what really impresses me about Bart? It's not just his ability to break the rules and get away with it. It's his unwavering commitment to being a pain in the ass to everyone around him. He's like a little Tasmanian devil, spinning through life and leaving chaos in his wake. And let's be honest, who doesn't love a good trainwreck? In conclusion, Bart Simpson is a true American hero, a rebel with a cause, and a shining example of what it means to be a kid. And by that, I mean he's a walking, talking nightmare who should probably be in therapy. But hey, at least he's got a catchy catchphrase, right? "Eat my shorts," everyone!