===================================== FACEBOOK AD COPY AUDITOR v1.0 ===================================== PRODUCT: Magnesium gummies for sleep support AUDIENCE: Women 35-55 interested in sleep and wellness OBJECTIVE: Drive purchase / lead generation OVERALL AD SCORE ████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ Score: 21/100 INVISIBLE — Rebuild before spending another dollar ------------------------------------- ELEMENT SCORES ------------------------------------- Hook or Opening Line ██░░░░░░░░ 4/20 "Tired of being tired" — every supplement ad for 10 years Primary Text Body ██░░░░░░░░ 4/20 Product-first, feature-heavy — no story, no specificity Headline ███░░░░░░░ 6/20 "Shop Now — 20% off" creates no desire, just discounts Call to Action ███░░░░░░░ 5/20 Premature — asking for purchase before earning any trust Audience Alignment ██░░░░░░░░ 4/20 Speaks to the product, not to what 35-55 women actually feel ------------------------------------- COPY KILLERS (Fix These First) ------------------------------------- HOOK IS DEAD ON ARRIVAL Problem: "Are you tired of being tired?" has appeared in hundreds of supplement ads. Your target audience has developed an immune response — their thumb moves before they finish reading it. Fix: Get specific about their actual experience: "It's 2am. You're exhausted. But your brain won't stop running the tomorrow list." That's not a product pitch — it's a mirror. Impact if fixed: Very High PRODUCT-FIRST COPY STRUCTURE Problem: Your ad immediately explains what magnesium does and why your formula is good. Nobody scrolling Instagram cares about your formula. They care about whether this will help them sleep. Fix: Flip the structure entirely. Start with their problem — 3-4am wake-ups, laying awake with racing thoughts, feeling exhausted despite 7 hours in bed — then introduce the solution, then the product. Impact if fixed: Very High SHOP NOW 20% OFF HEADLINE DESTROYS VALUE Problem: Your headline asks for a purchase before the copy has created any desire. The 20% off signals the product is not worth full price. This is the discount brand move, not the premium supplement move. Fix: Replace with a benefit headline: "Sleep through the night — or your money back." The guarantee handles the risk objection; the benefit creates desire. Impact if fixed: High NO SOCIAL PROOF Problem: "Doctor-formulated" is the most overused claim in supplements. It creates zero credibility because every competitor says the same thing. Fix: Replace with a specific customer result: "47,000 women use this every night. Here's what they said after 30 days." Impact if fixed: High ------------------------------------- AD REWRITES — 3 ANGLES ------------------------------------- ANGLE: The Relatable Moment Hook: It's 3:17am. You're wide awake. Again. Primary text: You're not broken. You're depleted. Most women over 40 are chronically low in magnesium — and the symptom is not muscle cramps. It's the 3am brain spiral that won't let you sleep. We make the gummies that 47,000 women take every night before bed. Not because we told them to. Because they tried everything else first. Try SleepWell for 30 nights. If you're not sleeping better, we'll refund every penny. Headline: Sleep through the night — guaranteed CTA: Try it risk-free Why this angle works: Mirrors the specific experience before offering the solution — creates "that's me" recognition that stops the scroll ANGLE: The Social Proof Lead Hook: "I haven't slept this well since my 30s." Primary text: That's what Karen, 52, wrote us after her first week on SleepWell. She'd tried melatonin, magnesium pills, sleep meditations, white noise machines. Nothing worked — until she tried our gummies. The difference? The form of magnesium matters. Magnesium glycinate absorbs 4x better than the cheap oxide form most brands use. 47,000 women sleep better tonight because of this one ingredient difference. Try it for 30 nights, sleep better or full refund. Headline: The magnesium that actually works CTA: Get 30% off your first order Why this angle works: Real customer quote as hook, product differentiation framed as discovery not pitch, risk-free offer handles objection ANGLE: The Contrast Play Hook: Melatonin made it worse. Here's what actually worked. Primary text: If you've tried melatonin and woke up groggy, or tried prescription sleep aids and hated how they made you feel — you're not alone. The real sleep problem for most women is not falling asleep. It's staying asleep, and shutting off a racing mind. Magnesium glycinate directly supports the neurotransmitters that regulate sleep cycles. SleepWell delivers 400mg per serving — the clinical dose shown to improve deep sleep quality. 30-night money-back guarantee. Headline: Finally sleep through the night CTA: Start sleeping better tonight Why this angle works: Opens by validating failed attempts, introduces the product as the logical next step rather than another thing to try ------------------------------------- A/B TEST IDEAS ------------------------------------- Test 1: Hook specificity Control: "Are you tired of being tired?" Variant: "It's 3:17am. You're wide awake. Again." Hypothesis: Time-specific scenario stops scroll better than generic fatigue question Priority: High Test 2: Headline benefit vs. guarantee Control: "Shop Now — 20% off" Variant: "Sleep through the night — guaranteed" Hypothesis: Benefit plus risk-reversal outperforms discount headline for premium supplement positioning Priority: High Test 3: Social proof placement Control: Social proof buried in body copy Variant: Customer quote as hook: "I haven't slept this well since my 30s. — Karen, 52" Hypothesis: Real customer voice as opener creates more trust than brand voice Priority: High Test 4: CTA framing Control: "Shop Now" Variant: "Try it risk-free" Hypothesis: Risk-reversal CTA lowers purchase barrier by reframing the decision as low-stakes Priority: Medium Test 5: Long form vs. short form body Control: Current long paragraph body Variant: 3-5 short punchy sentences with line breaks between each Hypothesis: Mobile feed readers scan rather than read — white space and line breaks improve completion rate Priority: Medium ------------------------------------- AUDIENCE ALIGNMENT CHECK ------------------------------------- The copy speaks in third person about what magnesium does, not in the lived language of a tired 47-year-old woman. Women 35-55 do not think "I need magnesium" — they think "I wake up at 3am and cannot get back to sleep." The copy needs to mirror their internal experience before offering the solution. The phrase "doctor-formulated" targets women who are skeptical and need authority validation — but this audience segment responds more to peer social proof than clinical credentials. Adjust by leading with customer stories and moving any clinical language below the fold. ===================================== AUDIT COMPLETE — Facebook Ad Copy Auditor v1.0 =====================================