I’ve reached a point in my career where "This meeting could have been an email" is no longer a complaint, it’s a core spiritual belief. Nothing tests your spiritual fortitude quite like watching a colleague spend four minutes trying to find the "Share Screen" button they use every single day. My camera-off strategy is flawless: I just uploaded a high-res screenshot of myself looking intensely confused so my boss thinks I’m deeply engaged in the synergy strategy. "Let's take this offline" is corporate speak for: I am actively choosing to ignore you until next quarter. We spent 45 minutes today syncing up to schedule a alignment meeting about a preliminary touchpoint. I didn't realize my job description was 'Professional Calendar Tetris.'