Here’s your sample run of The Roast / Toast Switcheroo for Bob’s retirement: TITLE “Bob: From Printer Hero to Couch Legend” THE ROAST Let’s be honest: Bob’s retirement isn’t about “relaxation” — it’s about finally staging a full-scale intervention for his coffee habit. The espresso machine already put in a transfer request, and HR has a folder labeled “Bob vs. Printer: The Saga.” And speaking of that printer, Bob wasn’t just the office tech guy — he was the hostage negotiator. While the rest of us threatened it with baseball bats, Bob calmly coaxed it back to life like a horse whisperer with a jammed paper tray. Retirement means the poor machine will finally have to jam itself into early retirement too. THE TOAST But beyond the jokes, Bob has been the heartbeat of this office. He’s the guy who kept the caffeine flowing, the tech humming, and the laughter bubbling. We’ll miss the sound of him muttering over a toner cartridge almost as much as his patience in helping us reboot our own frazzled days. Bob’s dedication went far beyond machines — he fixed morale, built friendships, and turned coworkers into family. He made this office not just a place to work, but a place to belong. CLOSING LINE So here’s to Bob: may your Wi-Fi never drop, your coffee never run dry, and your new adventures print out perfectly on the first try.